July 31, 2015

For you, my friend.


Looking back in time, for what happened in those years, then up to this moment particularly, whether you think that I am still holding onto you or if you are trying to make me flutter again, just stop it. I am not the same person as you used to know in the past. 

I don't hate you. I am not angry. 
I was hurt, but it's already healed.
So, I don't have anything for a revenge. Nothing, for sure.
And also, believe it or not, I just feel so-so finding you contact me again, this March 2015.
I don't even care if you come, then go.
I am too busy taking care of those kind of things anymore.
I think you’ve guessed, I am on my busiest time. I don't have enough time to spare for joining your play.
Simply, there is no more butterflies left in my stomach.


I said before, one year ago, we will be friend. Not more than that.
It does not mean that I am still longing for you if I agree to spare my time helping you with your tasks as these recent times.
Don't overthink it, I am just being nice to my friend.
Yes, for me, you are my friend and a friend of my friends.

For you to know, I know what you think I don't know. 
If you come and want to start over, I sincerely suggest you to think very deep into it.
If you want to go, then go. God bless you.

And, one more thing, recently. 
About you who suddenly start seeing her, a friend of mine. Yes, for me, it is a sudden.
I am not hurt, I am shock.
I think you misunderstand me for this.
Let me clarify it. Yes, I feel a bit fluttery, seems like that’s why I react slightly emotional, sorry.
It is not because I am sad of your leaving, but I never think you are a person like this after knowing you in years.

Actually, it is not about who the person is, but when the time is. 
I don't care whether she is someone I know, or someone I will never know.
Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me, for whoever and at whenever, but it may be uneasy for her, seems so. And you might have been wondering it, too.
Yes, your dating issue. I am just a friend, but she is more than a friend to you. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but it does for her, that's the point. 
Yes, her, I mean your ex.

I don't know her, I don't have to put any attention to her, nor I don't even have a right to bubble about you and her.
Frankly speaking, that's why it may be okay if I just don't care about her, but this is not fully about her anymore, it's more about you. 
You, whom I see as a friend, as what I said last year, and I was not just bluffing at that time.
Facing this matter, I just can't only sit back when you are crossing the line, at least in my perspective.
That's what a friend for, not merely give you sweet but also throw you sh*t.
Yes, I am a friend like that.

We are not people who met in months, we've been in years. 
And, I know you feel uneasy to talk about her, and I also know where I should stop to not pass your border.
But it's you, who start bragging about her by asking my point of view, at that time. It's you who drag me to interfere with this matter. 
 
And, you've successfully got in my nerves, dude.
I just can't stand on how you cope with this kind of matter. 
Not about what I am to you, but what she is to you.
You know, we have nothing, never, yes, it's true.
But you also certainly know, you do have something with her.
Now I am really sure, by this matter, we certainly walk in a really different path.

I remember you said you are a jerk.
For me, no, I don't think so, you are not.
But, for her, for your ex, for this one person, maybe.
That’s also maybe a reason why she did it, dragging you out from her list.
I hope you may know that, even only guessing.
So, you should not even dare to ask me why she did it, at that time. You should ask yourself, no, you must.

Still, for me, you will never be a jerk.
You’ve helped me a lot in the past, whether you realized it or not.
But for her, your ex, I don't have any words to say since this is about you and her who were going through that.
I just hope if you feel you’ve done something wrong in your past, so you should not do the same for your yours right know. Take care well of my friend.

Of course, I am not perfect, I am sorry for what I've done to you, for something that I should not have done, in your thought.
Thinking more about it, calmly, by being emotionally honest, it is not about who did more wrong doings, or who hurt and who is being hurt. Not about it anymore, we both know it.
We have gone through this, we both have experienced it. You with yours, and me with mine.
Simply, it's just we who can't walk together.
In other words, this matter apparently shows us that we are really heading to a different direction.

Eventually, I am thankful, by this matter, you show me who you are, truly, completely, clearly.
It leads me to be 100% sure that for all this time, the hundred days I am over you, I’ve chosen the right decision to cut all ties about it, nothing left, for sure.
That’s what I mean with thanks for everything.

And, those all what I want to say, the reason why I agree to meet you, last time.
But, we don't have any opportunities left to meet after you blow out your words. So I write it here, don't know whether you visit this blog or not, like you once have done in the past.


Let’s be friend.




That’s all.
And, I really mean it.



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July 31, 2015

For you, my friend.


Looking back in time, for what happened in those years, then up to this moment particularly, whether you think that I am still holding onto you or if you are trying to make me flutter again, just stop it. I am not the same person as you used to know in the past. 

I don't hate you. I am not angry. 
I was hurt, but it's already healed.
So, I don't have anything for a revenge. Nothing, for sure.
And also, believe it or not, I just feel so-so finding you contact me again, this March 2015.
I don't even care if you come, then go.
I am too busy taking care of those kind of things anymore.
I think you’ve guessed, I am on my busiest time. I don't have enough time to spare for joining your play.
Simply, there is no more butterflies left in my stomach.


I said before, one year ago, we will be friend. Not more than that.
It does not mean that I am still longing for you if I agree to spare my time helping you with your tasks as these recent times.
Don't overthink it, I am just being nice to my friend.
Yes, for me, you are my friend and a friend of my friends.

For you to know, I know what you think I don't know. 
If you come and want to start over, I sincerely suggest you to think very deep into it.
If you want to go, then go. God bless you.

And, one more thing, recently. 
About you who suddenly start seeing her, a friend of mine. Yes, for me, it is a sudden.
I am not hurt, I am shock.
I think you misunderstand me for this.
Let me clarify it. Yes, I feel a bit fluttery, seems like that’s why I react slightly emotional, sorry.
It is not because I am sad of your leaving, but I never think you are a person like this after knowing you in years.

Actually, it is not about who the person is, but when the time is. 
I don't care whether she is someone I know, or someone I will never know.
Believe it or not, it doesn't bother me, for whoever and at whenever, but it may be uneasy for her, seems so. And you might have been wondering it, too.
Yes, your dating issue. I am just a friend, but she is more than a friend to you. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but it does for her, that's the point. 
Yes, her, I mean your ex.

I don't know her, I don't have to put any attention to her, nor I don't even have a right to bubble about you and her.
Frankly speaking, that's why it may be okay if I just don't care about her, but this is not fully about her anymore, it's more about you. 
You, whom I see as a friend, as what I said last year, and I was not just bluffing at that time.
Facing this matter, I just can't only sit back when you are crossing the line, at least in my perspective.
That's what a friend for, not merely give you sweet but also throw you sh*t.
Yes, I am a friend like that.

We are not people who met in months, we've been in years. 
And, I know you feel uneasy to talk about her, and I also know where I should stop to not pass your border.
But it's you, who start bragging about her by asking my point of view, at that time. It's you who drag me to interfere with this matter. 
 
And, you've successfully got in my nerves, dude.
I just can't stand on how you cope with this kind of matter. 
Not about what I am to you, but what she is to you.
You know, we have nothing, never, yes, it's true.
But you also certainly know, you do have something with her.
Now I am really sure, by this matter, we certainly walk in a really different path.

I remember you said you are a jerk.
For me, no, I don't think so, you are not.
But, for her, for your ex, for this one person, maybe.
That’s also maybe a reason why she did it, dragging you out from her list.
I hope you may know that, even only guessing.
So, you should not even dare to ask me why she did it, at that time. You should ask yourself, no, you must.

Still, for me, you will never be a jerk.
You’ve helped me a lot in the past, whether you realized it or not.
But for her, your ex, I don't have any words to say since this is about you and her who were going through that.
I just hope if you feel you’ve done something wrong in your past, so you should not do the same for your yours right know. Take care well of my friend.

Of course, I am not perfect, I am sorry for what I've done to you, for something that I should not have done, in your thought.
Thinking more about it, calmly, by being emotionally honest, it is not about who did more wrong doings, or who hurt and who is being hurt. Not about it anymore, we both know it.
We have gone through this, we both have experienced it. You with yours, and me with mine.
Simply, it's just we who can't walk together.
In other words, this matter apparently shows us that we are really heading to a different direction.

Eventually, I am thankful, by this matter, you show me who you are, truly, completely, clearly.
It leads me to be 100% sure that for all this time, the hundred days I am over you, I’ve chosen the right decision to cut all ties about it, nothing left, for sure.
That’s what I mean with thanks for everything.

And, those all what I want to say, the reason why I agree to meet you, last time.
But, we don't have any opportunities left to meet after you blow out your words. So I write it here, don't know whether you visit this blog or not, like you once have done in the past.


Let’s be friend.




That’s all.
And, I really mean it.



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